Saturday, September 24, 2011

Excerpt from ESPN Randy Savage Memorial League Article: What the Fuck is Going on in Jacksonville?

Updated: September 24, 2011, 10:39 PM ET

What the Fuck is Going on in Jacksonville? news services

The new football league that swallowed the National Football League in one fell swoop this past summer has its new fans already up in arms across message boards and blogs regarding the management of one of its more colorfully named teams: Where the fuck is Jacksonville?

After a questionable draft strategy that saw team owner Justin Otten draft four quarterbacks in the league's inaugural draft, Jacksonville's fans hopes were buoyed by the presence of new stars such as Peyton Manning and Jamaal Charles, as well as the return of former Jaguars quarterback David Garrard. However, with all three of these players now likely out of contention for the remainder of the season, hope is wearing thin.

The thing that fans have been commenting on most vocally though is the lack of roster moves since those players have found themselves unable to compete. "They need to drop Charles and Peyton," commented SwissGuy420 on Jacksonville's official boards. "That Otten guy needs to get himself some new blood on the team. SMOKEWEED4LIFE."

Calls to Jacksonville's front office have thus far not been returned, creating a further lack of optimism amongst the local media. Jacksonville local morning radio host Mark Stephens told ESPN that he's placed numerous calls to Otten's office but has been unsuccessful. "All I get is a phone message when I call. It says, 'Where the fuck is Jacksonville is dealing with some fucking business. Leave a message at the fucking beep.' But there's never a beep! I guess it's back to fart noises for entertainment. Those Jacksonville idiots love fart noises."

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