Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Beijing 2008

Hey Lawrence. Yeah, good weekend. How was yours? Oh, great. That kid of yours sure has a wild streak! Gotta keep an eye on her as she grows up! Yeah. Oh, Larry, here's that report you needed. I don't think it's gonna be a feasible idea. The numbers just don't line up. Yeah, I know this is an important account. Ok, I'll see what I can do. Yeah, just give me a little time to iron it out. Yeah, no problem. Hey, you been watching the Olympics? Man, those people are amazing! I can't believe it! That Michael Phelps, eight gold medals, that's a shitload. I'd be happy with just one. So, you must be pretty excited about the whole thing. Well you know, it taking place in Beijing and all. Really highlights your culture! Well, I mean that having the Olympics in China really shows the world how far your people have come. I was watching this History Channel special the other day about China, about how long it cut itself off from the rest of the world and how only Ping-Pong brought the world into the Forbidden City. Man, you must be GREAT at Ping-Pong. Yeah, we should play some time! My brother would barely believe it if I told him I beat a Chinese guy at Ping-Pong. You guys totally stole all the medals in that sport. Oh, excuse me, table tennis. That's awfully pretentious. It's Ping-Pong, dammit. Did you ever hear that joke about the two Chinese guys named Ping and Pong? Guess what sport they invented. Tennis! Ha ha, yeah. No, I don't think that's necessarily racist. Now I bet you've got all sorts of relatives named Ping and Pong! Wait a second, American names don't have base or ball in them. What are you implying? That's right. Look, I'm just commenting on your Chinese heritage. I'm sure you're proud of it. No, seriously. I really am saying you should be proud of what your people are proud of, hell, I'm proud of Stonehenge! That's my Scottish side coming out. Whoa, all of them? Oh, I guess they must have left at least one person, or else you wouldn't be here. Yeah, I guess the Chinese occupation of Manchuria must have been hard on you. Speaking of occupations, did you ever see that movie "Braveheart?" It's awesome, reminds me of my family's struggles. You guys have a movie like that? So all of the Koreans were subjugated and some were slaughtered? Guess that wouldn't make for that great of an ending…

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